Will You #Marry Me are four words every woman dreams to hear someday, while the courageous proposer yearns to hear the desired one-word response – Yes! Overwhelmingly, the response is usually just that… Yes! This question and answer response initiates the engagement which is usually followed by more questions from well-wishers. The most frequently asked question isn’t are you going to get premarital counseling nor are you both sure this is what you really want? The most frequently first asked question is when are you getting married?
This question sends the bride-to-be into a passionate fantasy trance that probably started when she was a young girl. I understand this hype. I repeatedly had this same euphoric experience when I became #engaged. Other than daily for the Queen of England, when else does a woman get to be the complete center of attention with everyone standing to honor and admire her beauty? Months, if not a year or two, go into planning the special wedding day. From sparse to spare no expense budgets many financially sacrifice and invest to make their wedding day unforgettable. Most couples put more emphasis and effort into the wedding day than the marriage. The wedding day arrives and the main question that everyone then tunes in to hear is Do you take ___ to be your bride/groom? Without hesitation both parties gleefully reply I Do.
My husband and I have had the opportunity to provide marriage coaching and support to many #couples. Some couples are #newlyweds still in the formative phase, while others are working through a rocky period of a long-term marriage.
Many times what we see from the outside looking in at a marriage is nothing like what may really be going on behind the scene (in their hearts, minds and circumstances). When we ask what are the issues that you’d like help resolving, we’ve heard varying complaints such as his parents didn’t feel we were for ready #marriage, we don’t agree on how to discipline our children, we argue about everything and never agree on how to spend money, or I don’t feel loved anymore.
Many of the couples that we’ve coached didn’t have premarital counseling. We recommend both premarital and post marital counseling to keep the main thing the main thing ----the marriage. Popping the Big Question takes courage and it seems so easy to say I do. Saying I do is easier said than done. Meaning I really do is harder. Saying I still do can be even harder, but it can be done. In spite of the questions you may now have about your marriage or relationship, don’t be afraid to ask the big #questions. What questions do you have that need to be asked/answered to enrich your marriage? Don’t be afraid to confront the painful #truth about went wrong or what was the worst day of your marriage with a confidence that you can do it over to make it right. The correct response should always be: Yes, I still do. Yes, we can!
Alicia T. Clinton is an author, marriage coach, #motivational speaker and freelance professional writer She has hosted many empowerment conferences and workshops to empower people to live their best lives now.
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